‘Every Voice’ conference celebrates past, present and future of LGBTQ+ Tigers

Princeton University welcomed more than 600 alumni and guests to campus Sept. 19-21 for “Every Voice: Honoring and Celebrating Princeton’s LGBTQ+ Alumni.” The conference — the first alumni affinity conference since 2019 — featured more than 50 sessions, along with networking opportunities and social events. Plenary sessions included a conversation between President Christopher L. Eisgruber ’83 and Provost Jen Rexford ’91, as well as discussions on intergenerational dialogue, the importance of college access and opportunity for first-generation lower-income LGBTQ+ students, and legal protections for the LGBTQ+ community. 

The tone for the conference was firmly established at the “Stepping into the Spotlight: Igniting Every Voice” event on Thursday night as six alums took the stage in Richardson Auditorium to share how their LGBTQ+ journeys weaved through their Princeton experiences. They read aloud vignettes drawing from five different decades and a broad representation of the LGBTQ+ community.

The vignettes from each alum’s journey were unique at the “Stepping into the Spotlight: Igniting Every Voice” event on Thursday night, with a unifying theme of courage.

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Kathryn Rohr ’68 detailed how she buried herself in her academics during the Vietnam War rather than confront her “secret” that she was a transgender woman. Ricardo DeLeon ’86 described being a first-generation Princeton student, and how one classmate’s thoughtless remark about his sexuality set him on a path to “walk straight” rather than risk being ostracized — a decades-long journey that culminated in his appearance on Richardson’s stage. Daniel Mendelsohn *89 *94 recalled winning a Whig-Clio sponsored debate over Gay Jeans Day, a campus Pride campaign he helped create, after he began his argument by noting how attractive he found his male debate opponents.

Kathryn Hamm ’91’s story dovetailed with Mendelsohn’s when she recalled the panic she felt after one of her Princeton soccer teammates changed out of her jeans on Gay Jeans Day rather than demonstrate support. Heather Rae Martin ’07 described the campus elements of fashion and pop culture that helped them redefine binary stereotypes and understand “a form of gender expression that signaled visible queerness.” Sam Gravitte ’17 re-created the hold-your-breath moment as a first-year lacrosse player when he announced his sexuality to his Princeton teammates.

There were laughter, tears and the occasional irreverent remark. Each alum’s journey was unique, but courage bound their tales together. “I’m curious about the anthology of these moments of ours as a shared story this weekend,” Hamm said. “How will we be changed when we watch someone else being brave? What will we choose when someone else asks us to be brave? What will I choose? I hope I will choose courage and love.”

President and provost welcome alumni, champion inclusivity

Richardson was crowded again on Friday morning, with alums wearing traditional orange and black along with a spectrum of colors that celebrated individuality. “We each have our own stories, background and experiences, and one strength of our global community is that we celebrate each other,” said Monica Moore Thompson ’89, president of the Alumni Association and chair of the Alumni Council, as she opened the “Welcome Back” plenary session. “‘Every Voice’ is about all our voices. It’s about who we are as individual alumni and about creating community in which each of us is heard.”

Thompson introduced Provost Jen Rexford ’91, who began her remarks with personal memories of her time on campus both as a student and as a faculty member, emphasizing the progress toward a more inclusive community that has been made in the last few decades and also noting that a popular media website for students currently lists Princeton as one of the top 10 queer-friendly campuses. “Unquestionably, society has changed around us, but I believe that Princeton has changed more, and for the better, through the work of many people, including so many of you who are here with us in this room,” she said.

Rexford highlighted efforts made by the University to support the LGBTQ+ community over the years, noting “at Princeton, we are committed to the ongoing construction of an inclusive campus.” She then introduced President Christopher L. Eisgruber ’83. “I am really proud to work in an administration and for a president who truly believes that inclusivity is not only the right thing to do, but is essential to our scholarly excellence,” she said.

The president and provost discussed a number of issues, beginning with the connection between inclusivity and equity, which Eisgruber addressed in his 2024 State of the University letter. “When we think about diversity at Princeton, when we think about our LGBTQ+ student body, when we think about all the forms of diversity at Princeton, we are better because those students and faculty and staff are here, and we are better if they flourish fully,” Eisgruber said.

Other topics included:

• Expansion of the student body and the University’s commitment to access and opportunity for more students from more backgrounds;
• Campus development, including two new residential colleges, the new Frist Health Center and the Class of 1986 Fitness and Wellness Center, the new Princeton University Art Museum, and new buildings and centers of research for engineering, computer science and environmental studies;
• Academic freedom and free expression on campus;
• Health and well-being as part of the University’s strategic plan;
• The importance of a liberal arts education; and
• The transformative impact of artificial intelligence and the interdisciplinary opportunities of its applications.

Asked by Eisgruber what excited her most about the “Every Voice” conference, Rexford spoke of the diversity of the program, spanning topics, alum eras and speakers’ expertise. “So many of the people in this room and in the program are really transforming the world,” she said. “They’re doing that every day in so many different fields and in so many different ways, and it’s really an honor to be able to hear what they have to say.”

 

‘A Peek Inside Princeton’s Closet’

Several “Every Voice” events focused on uncovering Princetonians’ stories from previous generations. Margot Canaday, Dodge Professor of History and the moderator of the “Uncovering LGBTQ+ Stories at Princeton” panel on Friday morning, shared social science data and historical evidence that showed a rapid shift in national attitudes toward LGBTQ+ rights in the last 30 years. “When change happens this rapidly,” she said, “generational experiences are sharply differentiated.”

Panelist Helen Zia ’73, founder of the Vincent Chin Institute, writer and human rights activist, described her student years as “very much a time of invisibility” for the LGBTQ+ community, saying, “Being queer was being underground and being also underground to ourselves.” Shawn Cowls ’87, who helped start the Fund for Reunion to provide financial support for the Gay Alliance of Princeton, remembers being thrust into the public eye at the height of the AIDS crisis. “People would call me at night to talk to me because they knew I was gay,” he said. “I’d get phone calls from people both off campus as well as from people on campus, who, in some cases, were at the end of their rope and terrified and scared.”

At Mudd Manuscript Library on Thursday afternoon, alumni were invited to review historical items on display for “A Peek Inside Princeton’s Closet: The Often-Hidden History of LGBTQ+ at the University.” Materials ranged from a marriage register of the first same-sex wedding performed in the Princeton University Chapel to student records traversing identity, correspondences by gay mathematician Alan Turing *38, a poster for the first Gay Jeans Day, newspapers, yearbooks and other documents of the eras.

Bob Tuschman ’79 remarked that while he had not previously considered himself “part of Princeton’s history,” paging through his yearbook in the exhibition proved otherwise. Tuschman, who came out in his senior year, had not returned to campus in 25 years before the first “Every Voice” conference because of painful memories of being out on campus. That 2013 gathering proved to be a turning point for him in his relationship with the University. “That conference — I don’t use the word lightly — was life-changing for me,” he said. “It showed me how much Princeton had changed.”

At Thursday's "A Peek Inside Princeton's Closet: The Often-Hidden History of LGBTQ+ at the University" in Mudd Library, alumni explored archival materials and ephemera documenting the history of LGBTQ+ Princetonians through flyers, posters, newspaper articles, yearbooks, records, and more.

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After “Every Voice,” he reconnected with college friends. “These conferences have sort of brought me back full circle,” Tuschman said. “I remember how excited I was to set foot on Princeton’s campus and now I feel the same excitement when I set foot on campus again, because now I feel part of it.”

Tuschman also contributed one of the 131 interviews that make up the Princeton LGBTQIA+ Oral History Project, an ongoing effort to document the diverse stories that shaped student experiences over the decades. At the Frist Campus Center on Thursday afternoon, Alex Rosado-Torres, associate director of Princeton’s Gender + Sexuality Resource Center (GSRC), guided alumni through the development and planned expansion of the project, which was launched as a digital exhibit last week.

A small team of summer fellowship students listened to and tagged each interview so they can easily be searched online. They also worked with University Archives (the Mudd Library in particular) to locate and digitize decades-old artifacts and ephemera on LGBTQIA+ student groups, campus events, flyers, posters and newspaper articles. Rosado-Torres said that plans were underway to create yearlong fellowships that would support conducting more interviews and expanding the digital exhibit.

The “Evolution of the Gender + Sexuality Resource Center at Princeton” was the subject of its own panel on Saturday morning, with past and current campus leaders discussing the significance of creating physical space on campus for LGBTQ+ students through the center and one of its predecessors, the LGBT Center that opened in 2006. Debbie Bazarsky, director of Boston University’s LGBTQIA+ Center for Faculty & Staff and the founding director of Princeton’s LGBT Center, remembered her initial Princeton job interview, which was for a temporary three-year position beginning in 2001. Bazarsky asked about the longer-term vision for establishing a center and was told, “This is a three-year position,” she said.  “And I thought: Game on.”

Gabriel Rodriguez ’10, a former peer educator and employee at the LGBT Center, said he’d wandered the halls of the Frist Campus Center in the vicinity of the LGBT Center before a warm invitation by Bazarsky changed everything for him. “When we think about the power of the center, it really came down, for me, to having a space — a formal space — where we could actually learn and get to understand our identities at a deeper level,” he said. “It was a rare opportunity to really think about what it meant to be gay."

When moderator Elizabeth Borges ’11 asked about the challenges facing students today, April Callis, director of GSRC and assistant dean for diversity and inclusion, noted the struggles of transgender, nonbinary and LGBTQ+ students of color. But an overarching concern for LGBTQ+ students across identities, according to Callis, is that they may feel “a lower sense of belonging.”

Callis said that GSRC serves the community through affirmation, advocacy and education, adding the latter has been “a through line” even before the LGBT Center existed. She highlighted GSRC’s current initiatives, including the Gender and Sexuality Basic Needs Fund. For LGBT History Month in October, GSRC is also planning to bring back historic celebrations like Gay Jeans Day and establish a queer Princeton walking tour.

Finding hope and remembering those we lost

On Saturday, alumni filled the University Chapel for “A Celebration of Life, Remembrance, and Hope.” Featuring performances by the Princeton Chapel Choir and the creation of a living memorial, the service provided a space for alumni to join together with former and current religious leaders from the Princeton community in acknowledgment of LGBTQ+ Princetonians who came before them.

The Rev. Sue Anne Steffey Morrow, the retired associate dean of religious life and the chapel who presided over the first same-sex wedding at the chapel, asked alumni and guests to join her in a call and response as she reflected on her longtime advocacy for LGBTQ+ students on campus.

“When we work together toward a vision on behalf of others,” Morrow started.

“Friendships are formed,” the audience answered, each repetition earning increasingly resonant responses.

Alumni and Princeton religious leaders came together at the University Chapel for "A Celebration of Life, Remembrance, and Hope" on Saturday for reflections, performances by the Princeton Chapel Choir, and the creation of a living memorial to honor the legacy of the LGBTQ+ Princetonians who came before them.

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While the scheduled speaker Jon Carl Lewis ’87 was unable to attend, Rabbi Gil Steinlauf ’91, executive director of Princeton's Center for Jewish Life, read aloud Lewis’s tribute to Princetonians lost to HIV/AIDS. “May this chapel, in this moment, provide for us a tangible space where we can make present again the lives so dear to us that we lost, lives we experienced and lives we never got to share, and the lives of so many invisible others who shared this space, this campus, and made our lives so much more.”

In a personal reflection, AG McGee ’22 described Princeton as the site of many of their first queer experiences, but also of grief and loss. “I think that sometimes the best kind of living memorial is just being ourselves, and that by being ourselves, we keep the memories of those we loved quite literally alive,” McGee said.

Loki Lin ’22 asked the audience to write down blessings, wishes and hopes for a living memorial that will be on display at the Gender + Sexuality Resource Center. Each guest dropped an envelope into an acrylic box, steadily filling the clear container with the colors of the rainbow. “Through these stories and experiences, I’m reminded that our support system, our community, our love for each other gives us the strength to go on,” Lin said. “I urge you not to forget these stories. Moreover, I urge you to make your own.

“If we stand together, we can not only survive, but we can flourish,” Lin added.

An abundance of joy and ‘fierce fabulousness’

Several “Every Voice” panelists referenced the sense of queer joy that powered the conference, and perhaps no event basked in that sensibility more than the “Showcase of LGBTQ+ Artistic Expression” that had Richardson Auditorium buzzing on Friday night. It began with diSiac student dancers and ended with the Triangle Club singers leading the audience in a rendition of “Old Nassau,” connected by, in the words of emcee Adam Hyndman ’12, “an incredible journey of queer brilliance, creativity, and let's be honest, some fierce fabulousness … to celebrate the voices that make us as a community: vibrant, diverse and powerful.”

The showcase reflected a rich tapestry of LGBTQ+ experiences, with heartfelt readings of original poetry, improv and standup comedy, a piano solo, a video clip from the Oscar-nominated documentary “How to Survive a Plague,” and a drag performance.

Howard Gertler ’96, who produced the 2012 documentary about the 1980s AIDS crisis, remembered his days as managing editor of The Daily Princetonian when the paper published a series of articles about queer campus life. “Some student wrote in, saying that we needed to be on the opinion page — not the news page,” he said. “I guess queer people were opinions, not facts, even [in the mid-’90s].”

Hyndman picked up the thread, saying, “I hope we all take these moments to look at our own contributions and try to move forward. Look at us now, here together. It’s not a happenstance. It’s not an accident. It’s a lot of work, a lot of collective force and intentions.”

Then he introduced drag performer Cocoa Heart, who shook the 130-year-old foundations of Alexander Hall with the heavy electronic bass of South Korean techno queen, Lee Jung-hyun. 

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Leading the charge for change

In addition to their engagement in the movement for LGBTQ+ rights and equality, members of the Princeton community have emerged as leaders on a range of issues including race relations, workers’ rights, reproductive rights and climate change, among others. Moderated by conference co-chair Brian Johnson ’99, the “Agents of Change: LGBTQ+ Social Movements” panel in McCosh 50 on Saturday morning discussed why so many LGBTQ+ people are at the center of other movements.

“I think it’s easier to march because our lives are on the line,” said panelist Heather Rae Martin ’07, who is involved in grassroots efforts for racial equality and reproductive rights. “I think queer people, out of necessity, are at the center because their livelihood depends on whether or not they have access to basic needs, knowing that our lives are often in danger because of policies and societal perspectives that put us in danger every day.”

Eddie Gonzalez-Novoa ’93, who works in New York City with organizations that respond to gun violence against Black, trans and other vulnerable communities, noted that many of his peers in leadership share “a sense of innovation and imagination” that is essential to not just challenging the status quo but providing positive alternatives. “Many of us, since childhood, kind of created a world for ourselves that wasn't carved out for us,” he said. “And I think that kind of imagination, that way of turning that idea into reality for ourselves, is kind of essential to a movement because it’s not just about breaking things down, but about building things up — a sense of what is possible.”

Brady Walkinshaw ’06, CEO of an environmental nonprofit, pointed to the intergenerational mentorship that is foundational to LGBTQ+ activism. “It happens very naturally within our community and that is something that I see within other social movements,” he said. “When I was here at the last ‘Every Voice,’ it was very powerful to see that. I met people here 11 years ago who I’m still in touch with.”

Hilary Abell ’90, who has advocated for workers’ rights for 25 years, pointed to civil rights leader Bayard Rustin and union organizer Pauline Newman as gay leaders who chose to operate more behind the scenes in previous eras. “Members of our community are able to be visible now,” she said.

That observation was reinforced during the follow-up Q&A, when audience member Charlize Katzenbach ’71 mentioned “the joy and pain” of being a transgender woman. “I am blessed to be able to help other trans people to be themselves,” said Katzenbach, who came out about 12 years ago. “We’ve always been alone. We’ve always been isolated. And now we are allowed to be out, and it’s causing all kinds of political issues. I apologize for those issues, but I ain’t going home.”

‘You are loved and you belong’

Under the tent on Alexander Beach on Saturday night, following a program that explored LGBTQ+ voices in entertainment, the three “Every Voice” co-chairs thanked the University staff for hosting the conference and shared their personal reflections. Marisa Demeo ’88 spoke of the “pure joy, relief and connection” she felt when she came out to — and was accepted by — her former Princeton roommates, a stark contrast to the pain caused by her parents’ disapproval. “Today, I come to you as a whole person,” she said. “I have many identities, including queer. I am a Princetonian and I am a Princeton trustee. I am all of the colors of the rainbow with you, and I’m also orange and black with you. Thank you for being here, for sharing your authentic selves. You are now part of my extended chosen family.”

Timothy Wu ’84 contrasted his Princeton experience in the 1980s with that of current Asian LGBTQ+ students who told him, “Princeton is the one place that [we] can be out, queer and Asian.” He urged members of the Princeton community to “make the arc of moral justice bend a little faster” by getting involved. “When you all go back to your hometowns after this, get involved with Queer Princeton Alumni, get involved with your local LGBTQ+ organizations, participate in Princeton regional, class, graduate and affinity groups,” he said. “Share the ‘Every Voice’ experience with those who were not able to make it. From our focus groups, we learned that there are many of our classmates who still do not feel comfortable coming back, and we have to validate those feelings and encourage them to see the Princeton of today.”

Brian Johnson described how he found himself back at Edwards Hall, where he had lived as a senior, looking up at his dorm room on a Friday morning stroll and whispering advice to his younger self across time. “See, I always loved Princeton, but I wasn’t always sure Princeton would love me back,” he said. “We may not have always been out, we may not have always had the words to describe ourselves, but we have been a part of this community since 1746, and so I want you to know what I wanted myself to know 25 years ago: You are loved and you belong.”

Sean C. Downey, Jeff Labrecque, Catherine Mallette and Rebekah Schroeder contributed to this story.

Alumni and guests represented a host of different decades and a broad representation of Princeton's LGBTQ+ community. Robert Gleason '87 (right) served as co-chair of the first Every Voice conference, in 2013, and was a featured speaker this year.

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