Letter from an alumnus about P-rade protocol

October 20, 2004:

I, too, am distressed, as is Conover English ’34 (Letters, Sept. 15), by the increasingly frivolous, undisciplined, and lengthy P-rades. I say, “This foolishness must stop!” Certainly children have no place at a P-rade — nor do babies, teens, dogs, pigs, chickens, or bunnies of any sort. Marchers who cannot keep the proper pace, including the injured and handicapped, should be required to furnish and ride in their own carts.

Anyone who fails to reach the assigned checkpoints in the allotted times should be pulled aside by wardens, forced to undress, and complete 10 push-ups for each minute of tardiness. The miscreants will then be rounded up, dressed in scarlet tiger outfits with tails between their legs, and forced to simulate the Death March on Bataan — ending at the Chapel, where they will be flogged and made to atone for their dalliance.

John Baker ’61
Atlanta, Ga.

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